Muffin Time is a very dumb, very silly card game where you play a series of very dumb, very silly cards against your friends. The idea is to collect exactly 10 cards in your hand – no more, no less. As soon as you do, you shout "It's Muffin Time!" to warn the other players that your win is imminent. They, of course, may be holding cards that can force you to discard or draw many cards at once, prolonging the game. Other cards can be laid as traps, and played only once someone around the table does something specific like checks the rules, or complains about someone taking too long, or sneezes. The game rewards sneakiness, like the time I idly asked a friend I was playing with where she got her necklace, causing her to "recall an event from over a year ago" and thus discard three cards. HA! The fool! Like I would ever manifest sincere interest in another person! HA HA HA HA HA! "Lights Camera Action" is Kylie Minogue's latest club banger, and attention must be paid, even if you do not find yourself, as I do, firmly and comfortably ensconced within the cohort of middle-aged queer men determined to shake Americans out of their willful, soporific Kylie ignorance. What's the song about, you ask? Five things, basically. 1. Telling someone who is currently in the nightclub that you're about to join them at the nightclub ("I'm two seconds away/I'm right around the corner now"). 2. Informing said someone what you look like, so they can hold the door of the nightclub open for you ("I got shades on my face and I'm looking/Like Lagerfelds in Vogue"). 3. Noting that the music in this particular nightclub is being played at a high volume ("Tuning in, tuning out/All I want is the noise"). 4. Inquiring if they agree with you on this last point ("Tell me, can you feel it?"). 5. Lights, camera, action – that's it ("Lights, camera action/That's it"). Which is to say, it's about Kylie. I mentioned this week's shocking death of Broadway performer Gavin Creel up top, but that doesn't capture the full scope of what we've lost. To get a sense of that, type his name into the social media platform of your choice to see his fellow performers celebrating his life and talent by posting clip after clip after clip. I started on YouTube, where this 2016 duet with Aaron Tveit was the first thing to pop up. But then I let the algorithm send me down a Gavin Creel rabbit hole, and I urge you to do the same. |